Laugh, or I'll Saw Your Legs Off!

Wifey is down in Portland all weekend, doing environmental stuff. I'm here with Fado the Wonderpooch, who's laying in the entrance to our bedroom, growling and whining half-heartedly. I think he knows Wifey hasn't been home for awhile, and he's discomfited. Of course, I'm not sure of this, so I am now arguing with a dog:

"What, what do you want? What do you need? What's with all this growling?"

You'd be surprised at how naturally I do this. Then again, maybe not.

Okay - Pooch out for walk, no more whining. It's just that simple.

What else? Saw two horrible movies this weekend: Saw, and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. One was stupid and gory, one was stupid and beautiful. At least to look at. Lots of sepia toned shadows and art-deco buildings. Plus, lots and lots of blimps and weird winged things flapping through the air in droves. Sadly, SC and the WoT had no acting chops, a plot that dragged like a legless beggar and it din't hold my interest past the first reel.

Saw, on the other hand, was just a bloody stupid mess built around an awesome idea: what if a serial killer was known not for killing you himself, but forcing you to kill yourself based on your moral failures? Sounds a lot of Se7en, really, and it was.

Only Se7en was scary, atmospheric and superbly acted. Saw was ham-and-cheese-on-white, with loads of ketchup. Cary Elwes has the lead role, and butchers it so badly he is rewarded by having to saw his own leg off. Danny Glover plays a cop who's origally assigned to the case, goes nuts from the detective work, then suddenly pulls his head out in the 3rd reel enough to go chasing after the killer with a gun. Silly, silly movie. But don't worry - they'll make more.

I countered all this by also renting The Late Night with Conan O'Brien 10th Anniversary Show on DVD as well as a retrospective on stand-up comedian Bill Hicks, who died right at the start of his fame. Ye Gods, what would life be without satire? Without chain-smoking stand-up comedians touring the nation? If that revolution ever comes, and these things are outlawed, I'm going underground.